When Kishimoto sensei runs out of ideas ch2
by RukawaGF
Summary: Kishimoto sensei ran out of ideas again! He calls the jounins for help! This time, what will happen to Hayate's fate? (Spoiler - Do not read if you do not know the end of chuunin exam or not know itachi, tsunade)
1. Chapter 1: Jiraiya's Suggestion

Disclaimer: Thanks to rasenth for bringing the idea of having random things Naruto characters will/will not do. And Michelle, who rp Kakashi, for the idea of "butcher week". Combine those together, and one insomnia- infested night, created this semi-fic, brought to you by Little Salt Studio. - English isn't my first language and it's my first Naruto fic so please be gentle with me onegai *wink* -  
  
Cast: (For Naruto LJ RP)  
  
Kishimoto, Jiraiya, Tsunade, Orochimaru, Kisame, Itachi, Gai, Kakashi.  
  
(At Kishimoto sensei's studio)  
  
Kishimoto: Well guys, I'm totally out of ideas. You guys are jounins, help me out.  
  
Kisame: I want more screen time.  
  
Itachi: . . .  
  
Kishimoto: Ano. . . I told you. You come right after the chuunin exam, Kisame.  
  
Jiraiya: Well then, let me entertain you all!  
  
Tsunade: No thanks. I don't trust you.  
  
Orochimaru: Ma, ma. Why don't we let him make a fool of himself.  
  
Jiraiya: Grrr. . . I'll make you regret that!  
  
Orochimaru: Oh ho? Interesting.  
  
Jiraiya: NANI! (What!)  
  
Kishimoto: Whoa whoa. Alright, let's give Jiraiya a shot. It might help me think of the next storyboard. . .  
  
Kakashi: Excuse me. . . I'm sorry I'm late. I found someone who got lost and was asking for direct. . .  
  
Everyone: USO! (You're Lying!)  
  
Jiraiya: Ahem! Let's all play 'Simon Says!'  
  
All: (groans)  
  
Jiraiya: Hey, hey! Only REAL men can take up the challenge of 'Simon Says!' After all, in the game, only a TRUE shinobi can not be tricked into losing such a simple game.  
  
Gai: Alright! I shall become a TRUE shinobi and win! (eyes burning)  
  
Kakashi: Gai. . . just don't burn the place down again. . . (given up saying the obvious; "You don't become a true shinobi by winning a simon- says. . . " It's not like it'll stop Gai)  
  
Gai: Let's do it! And the loser must sing the full Barney song on the next chapter of Naruto.  
  
All: . . .  
  
Jiraiya: AGREED!  
  
Tsunade: Wait a minute! That's not fair! You'll never lose! (points at Jiraiya)  
  
Gai: Tsunade-sama! Are you afraid of losing? (gasps in surprise)  
  
Tsuade: Of. . . of course not!  
  
Jiraiya: Then you got nothing to be afraid of. (smirks)  
  
Tsunade: Grrr. . .  
  
Orochimaru: *glares* I don't plan to lose to any of you.  
  
Kakashi: (sighz.) (mutters) I should have come much later. . .  
  
Itachi: . . .  
  
Jiraiya: Alright then! Everyone in your positions! (smirks at Tsunade) Simon says. . . sing along with me and do this action!  
  
All: *gulps*  
  
Jiraiya: (eyeing Tsunade only and sings) I'm. . . too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. (and starts taking off his shirt)  
  
Tsunade: WHAT?!!!!  
  
Jiraiya: What, can't doooo iiiit?  
  
Kisame: KA HA HA HA HA! (Takes it off)  
  
Kakashi: (sighs and takes jacket off because he doesn't want to sing Barney. Still got his black tights)  
  
Itachi: (takes if off because he doesn't want to sing that song either. Still has his fishnet)  
  
Orochimaru: (takes it off because he's wearing two layers anyway)  
  
Gai: Erm. Jiraiya-sama. I'm wearing a body suit.  
  
(No one looks at Gai, in fear of seeing what he wears under that suit... or not wears)  
  
Jiraiya: That's ok, next are the pants anyway. Let's see if Tsunade is our first loser. (grins)  
  
Tsunade comes closer towards Jiraiya.  
  
Tsunade: (sweetly)You want to see me without my shirt, Jiraiya-chan?  
  
Jiraiya: Err. yes, for research purpo. . .  
  
Tsunade: Research my @&&!!! (Punches his face and he flies into the next room on the right.)  
  
Kishimoto: Nooo! Not the right room!! That's Togashi-san's studio! (Creator of YYH and HXH)  
  
Gai: But! What about the bet, Tsunade-sama!  
  
Tsunade: Damn it you dimwit Gai! We force him to Simon-say that he's the loser then!  
  
Gai: Ooooh.  
  
Tsunade: Everyone! Follow me! Let's kill this pervert!  
  
Gai: YOSHI!  
  
Tsunade and Gai chases Jiraiya  
  
Kisame: (to Orochimaru as they follow) Man, it was starting to get fun.  
  
Orochimaru: (answer to Kisame) I agree. I was looking forward to see what Itachi wears underneath  
  
Kisame: Oh, he wears boxe. . . (then fades out)  
  
Kakashi: (follows them sighing) And I was in the middle of a chapter.  
  
Itachi: (follows them quietly, and silently calculates Jiraiya's assassination)  
  
Kishimoto: (looks around his empty and half destroyed studio and sighs) Now what. . .  
  
(Something bursts and left walls crumble)  
  
Kishimoto: Huh?  
  
Ryouga Hibiki: Damn that grey haired chicken head. He lied to me! Excuse me sir, do you know the way to Rumiko Takahashi-san's studio?  
  
Kishimoto: Oh? Her's is right below mine.  
  
Ryouga: Right you say? Yoshi.  
  
Kishimoto: No, no. Not right, just below mi. . .  
  
Ryouga: Shi-shi-ho-ko-dan! (Destroys the ceiling and jumps up)  
  
Kishimoto: No, no! That's Akira Toriyama sensei's. . .  
  
(Sees a flash of lightening and someone screaming, "Kame-hame-ha!")  
  
(BOOM!)  
  
Kishimoto sees Ryouga fall from the ceiling, crash down into the room underneath.  
  
(BAM!)  
  
(Silence)  
  
Kishimoto: Well, at least it seems he made it in time for Takahashi- sensei... That's strange... thought she was working on Inu Yasha... does she need Ryouga as a model?  
  
Kishimoto looks around at his left and right wall and ceiling deprived studio. and sighs.  
  
Kishimoto: Wait! I got it!  
  
***So this was how Kishimoto sensei made up the move, "shishi randan", Lion Combo*** 


	2. Chapter 2: Hayate's Fate

Disclaimer: Due to the popularity of chapter one and many thanks to encouraging e-mails and reviews, here is chapter two. Thank you very much everyone. ^_^  
  
Cast:  
  
Creator – Kishimoto sensei  
  
Special jounin – Anko, Ibiki, Genma, Ebisu, Hayate  
  
Chuunin – Iruka, Izumo, Kotetsu, Mizuki, Shikamaru, Tonbo  
  
Kishimoto sensei called the meeting to order. He had asked special jounins and chuunins to come to his office today.  
  
Kishimoto: Is everyone here?   
  
(Shikamaru, who was sitting on the floor of one corner, raises his hand)  
  
Shikamaru: Ano… I'm not a chuunin yet since the chuunin exam isn't finished... Isn't the manga still at preliminaries?  
  
Kishimoto: That's ok. We all know you get to pass.  
  
(Shikamaru sighs and grumbles)  
  
Izumo: (looks down at his notepad) We are missing Anko-san, sensei.  
  
Kishimoto: Anko? Now what is she up to.  
  
Ebisu: Tis not a problem of any major, sensei. Leave it to me, I, Ebisu-sama, will take care of…  
  
Ibiki: Shove it Ebisu. Last time, even Jiraiya-sama wasn't able to help sensei with his problems.  
  
Izumo/Kotetsu: Eh? Even Jiraiya-sama?  
  
Iruka: Well… if he couldn't solve it, how can we?  
  
Kishimoto: Now, now. Let's not rush. That problem is solved. Our newest problem is… Hayate-kun.  
  
Hayate: *cough cough* Me, sir?  
  
Kishimoto: Yes. You're suppose to die in the next chapter.  
  
All: DIE?!  
  
Tonbo: (places his hand on Hayate's shoulder and lowers his head) I'm sorry Hayate. You were a good friend of mine.  
  
Genma: Can I be the next Referee?   
  
Iruka: (Tears flowing freely, clutching a picture to his heart) Ah, Hayate-san. You will now join the other side with Mizuki-san, ne? Ne? (cries some more)  
  
* * *  
  
(cut to Mizuki, waving his hand in front of his face)  
  
Mizuki: Oi. I'm not dead.  
  
* * *   
  
(cut back to Kishimoto's office)  
  
Hayate: *cough cough* Oi, I'm still alive you know. *cough*  
  
Kishimoto: Problem is, i how/i we are going to kill him.   
  
Ibiki: Well now, that's my expertise. Do you prefer precision with lingering side or an express order?   
  
Hayate: Oi. *cough*  
  
Ibiki: Well, there's always bondage.  
  
Hayate: (eyes about to gauge out)  
  
Kishimoto: Ahh… no. This i is /i shonen manga. I got into a lot of trouble last time trying to pass sexy-no-jutsu and harlem-no-jutsu.  
  
Ibiki: Pity.  
  
Shikamaru: (sighs) This whole meeting is getting bothersome…  
  
Iruka: That's strange, by book 1, how did you get Naruto and Sasuke to have their first kiss and get Naruto to tie up Sasuke then? I mean, Sasuke's tied in a … (his eyes slowly grows bigger)  
  
Ibiki: bondage… (finishes for him, grinning)  
  
All: (turns their head sharply to look at Kishimoto)  
  
Kishimoto: Hey, hey, hey now. What are you suggesting?  
  
Tonbo: Well, sensei… your only official couples in the manga are Zabuza and Haku…   
  
Izumo: (looks down at his notepad) And according to my reports, Kishimoto sensei does lack strong feminine roles.  
  
Kotetsu: And no girls were invited today. (he smirks with a wicked twinkle in his eyes)  
  
Kishimoto: I did too invite Anko! She's… she's just not here! And I do try to get my girls to be more …   
  
(Kishimoto sensei is interrupted by a crash as the left wall, which was nailed down with wooden boards, crumbles inwards. Out jumps Anko)   
  
Kishimoto: (groans) And I just fixed that wall…  
  
Anko: bHello everyone!/b Tis I, Anko, back in a flash! I just went to buy some dango. (Stares at everyone who's starring at her) What's wrong?  
  
Shikamaru: Everyone just realized Kishimoto sensei has a fetish for men.  
  
Anko: He does? I mean, iyou do?/i (turning her head to face Kishimoto directly)  
  
Kishimoto: No, no, ino!/i That's absurd! Of course not. I just called the meeting to an order because I need Hayate killed and I don't know how.  
  
Anko: Oh really? Then can I kill him? Oh can I?  
  
Iruka: Ahhh Mizuki-san. Why did you have to die? (crying as his clutches tightly to a picture of Mizuki smiling fondly back)  
  
* * *  
  
(cut to Mizuki waving both his arms frantically)  
  
Mizuki: Oi. I'm not dead! Just because I don't show up doesn't mean I'm dead!  
  
* * *   
  
(cut back to Kishimoto's office)  
  
Hayate: *cough* Erm don't I get a say…  
  
Ibiki: (interrupts Hayate) This is imy/i expertise. Do not interfere with me, Anko.   
  
Anko: Oh yeah? My exam whooped your exam's ass last time, we bet who gets more students failed and I won! You have no right to tell me that.   
  
Ibiki: I never agreed to your terms…  
  
Hayate: *cough* Ano… excuse me… *cough*  
  
Genma: Hey, I think I get a say in this. I mean, I get more yaoi pairings with Hayate then anyone.  
  
Tonbo: (whispers to Izumo and Kotetsu) What does that have to do with anything?  
  
Izumo: (whispers back) I think he's saying that he should be part of the angst scene where he gets to kill Hayate-san or is there to hear his last words or something.  
  
Kotetsu: Yeah, we all know dying men have the longest screen time in an episode. Besides, Hayate-san's life has been longer then a cockroach for a man that sick.   
  
Hayate: *cough cough*  
  
(Everyone starts fighting who gets to kill Hayate. Kishimoto sensei tries to stop the fight. After everyone finally calmed down…)  
  
Genma: Hey, where's Hayate?  
  
Shikamaru: Down on the floor. Anko-san's stepping on him.  
  
Anko: Oops! Hayate. (Gets off of him and shakes him) Hayate?! Speak to me! Hayate!!  
  
Iruka: Oh no! He finally died!  
  
Shikamaru: (rises eyebrows) i Finally?/i  
  
Ebisu: Everyone, let us all mourn for our losses. (Everyone crouches besides Hayate and hold their hands by the heart, crying)  
  
Hayate: *cough cough*   
  
Iruka: Ah, I can still hear Hayate-san coughing. It's like he's still with us.   
  
(Everyone cries harder. Shikamaru watches them from a corner, sighs and covers his head with his hand in embarrassment)  
  
Ibiki: So, what was Hayate suffering from?  
  
Genma: I thought it was tuberculosis.   
  
Ebisu: Why, I thought everyone knew it was asthma.  
  
Anko: Whew. I was afraid it was AIDS.  
  
Kishimoto: Actually, he was suffering from SARS.  
  
All: (silence)  
  
All: (slowly turns their head towards the desk where Kishimoto is sitting)  
  
Kishimoto: I think.  
  
All: (silently turn their head back to the supposedly-dead Hayate's body)  
  
All: AHHHHH!!  
  
(everyone of them freak out and crashes out of the room as fast as possible)  
  
Kishimoto: No, no! Not through the wall! One at a time! There is a door! Not the CEILING!!   
  
(After all the commotion, Kishimoto sensei once again looks the big holes in all his walls and ceiling, including the floor. The only undestroyed area was the door.)  
  
Kishimoto: Why me…  
  
Shikamaru: (Who was sitting the whole time with a bored face) Same.  
  
Kishimoto: Do you want to kill him?  
  
Shikamaru: Hell no.  
  
(Baki comes in the door)  
  
Baki: Here is the next story arc that Kabuto finished typing up sensei.  
  
Kishimoto: Do you want to kill him?  
  
Baki: (confused) Hai?*   
  
Kishimoto: Problem solved! Congratulations Baki! (shakes his hands)  
  
Baki: Eh?  
  
Kishimoto: Ah, Hayate. Now I can write your safe trip to join the dark side with Mizuki.  
  
* * *  
  
(cut to Mizuki pounding on your monitor screen)  
  
Mizuki: Oi! I said I'm not i dead!/i Get me out of here! Where am I? Why am I with a boy who turns into a pig in cold water anyway?!!!  
  
* * *   
  
(cut back to Kishimoto's office)  
  
Shikamaru: Ano… sensei.  
  
Kishimoto: Yes?  
  
Shikamaru: Sorry to interrupt, but if this was a meeting that included special jounins, how come there were no anbu present?  
  
Kishimoto: Ah?! I forgot! I'm going to be killed by iher!/i  
  
Shikamaru: So troublesome…  
  
* - Hai – In Japanese, it can mean "yes" but in a question form, it can also be asking "What?" Here Baki was asking "Huh? What?" But Kishimoto interpreted it as "yes" 


End file.
